Getting through the Front Door
I love books.
....and bookshelves. I immediately think positively of the owner who provides a furniture piece striking in design to house their possessions and display them in a way that provides ease of use, comfort to a room, and validation to the worth of the pages of creativity they own.
As a reader, I am attracted by category, title, and by cover design. I appreciate the actual experience of turning the page. I am always glad to settle in and begin a new book.
I lean towards a recognized author, but am easily persuaded to look for a title from a recommended author. These bound pages will take me on a trip….a trip through a storyline that will introduce landscapes, personalities, and relationships designed to stir emotions and elicit reactions.
In my childhood and youth, a library was hallowed ground. Quiet, organized, and safe. It was a building or section of our school that held high expectations of its’ users. Personal conduct mattered. A library held stories; line upon line written to relay a message. Children learned to listen with their ears, their minds, and their hearts.
The quiet of a library, or personal study, allows me to listen, to comprehend the descriptions of all the story characters’ actions, words, and thoughts that will expand my world.
Some stories relate historical events and personalities remaining authentic. Others are retold by stretching the edges, exaggerating details, and perhaps expanding the storyline to engage the reader.
Some books are events and people created entirely from an author’s mind - elaborate and intricate and spin a tale riveting enough to evoke emotions and sensibilities that have been buried deep in the readers’ character and are being pushed to the surface as they continue through the story. These storylines can draw from actual places, timelines, and relationships but the prose is purely fiction.
Authors’ have their unique brand, a definite style; they lend themselves to their creation and share an incredible gift.
As the reader, we appreciate the extraordinary value they provide to our lifetime.
The insight, provocation, and detail an author provides has the ability to make one reevaluate perspective, values, and understanding, and likewise will cause an individual to question previously held prejudices and assumptions.
This past Wednesday and Thursday, October 6 and 7, I attended the OACFP Conference in London, Ontario. It was an education packed two days and one evening but so worthwhile.
One of the presenters, Author Allison Graham, focused us in on a personal three pronged “level of control”. Author Eric Layer, gave a powerful presentation as he explained the conviction of the individual committed to "Hold Fast". Using the concepts presented to me at this conference, perhaps we can finally address the difficulty so many individuals experience in Getting through our Front Door.
Getting Through The Front Door of an Establishment whose proprietor is a Bereavement Professional is a very real predicament for many individuals. I don't mean physically, no not physically. It is that mental or emotional holdback, be it superstition, stigma, or fear, it is that "stuff" that bars entry. Even when a family must meet with us as their Provider of Final Arrangements, just knowing that they must attend such an establishment brings to the forefront a fear of the unknown compounded by their grief which is exaggerated by their discomfort of unfamiliar surroundings and process.
As a Provider of Final Arrangements and Preplanning Arrangements I believe I can eliminate the conundrum holding YOU back...and confronting me.
Recognize what you feel. People are hesitant, uncomfortable, unwilling – if not downright afraid – to enter our Establishments. A phone call may be more than they are willing to enter into either.
This set of circumstances has been longstanding and widespread and it is because talking about Death is taboo, a macabre subject, and in my opinion something culturally abandoned.
Members of our communities, individuals and family members, these are the people that we know desire, require, or are interested in the information and insight my professional attributes can provide.
BUT, it is just too…..too challenging to begin the conversation!
I am not a dentist, but I am so very empathetic to the client pushback of their professional expertise.
So, if you have have read the above paragraph out loud to yourself you may just be realizing that you are not the only person in the world who is struggling to reach out for direction and information from a bereavement professional.
Look through this following system for organizing everything a person deals with in our daily personal and professional activities and responsibilities. Consider how this three pronged system offers the ability to accomplish. Cheers to author Allison Graham for the ideal of honesty of 'listing' for those willing to play a part in easing our own stressors, moving stumbling blocks, and coping with that which will take a little longer to solve. Read through this version of a check list. No excuses, simply applied, we can place every “issue” in one of three categories – Tasks, Obstacles, and Adversities.
Tasks: these are issues that an individual has a high level of control over and can effectively and efficiently resolve immediately or in a specified short time frame.
This is important, because to accumulate or procrastinate tasks equates with self-sabotage in getting the “to do” stuff accomplished.
Obstacles: these are issues and circumstances any one of us have a medium level of control over. Having the realization that “hugging the tree in my way on the task path” is often what moves a task into an obstacle and promotes the longevity and severity of the obstacle and thereby diminishes my ability to accomplish success in overcoming that and other obstacles cluttering my mind and life moments.
Adversities: these are the issues and circumstances I have little to no control over.
Death is an example of something I can’t control, scale back, or stop but it is that something in my lifetime that I must make the time and take the time to allow for healing.
YOUR EMPOWERING NEXT STEP:
To overcome any fears or reservations you may have about reaching out and making an appointment with us, combine the first step and second step reasoning. Be positive and keep moving forward with the task of reaching Our Front Door.
As a Provider of Final Arrangements and Provider of Preplanning Arrangements, I assure you that the interior of our Establishments in Tillsonburg and in Woodstock have been compared to someone’s living room or dining room.
Clients tell us the rooms are not what they expected. We have received compliments stating that the décor is relaxing and inviting; that our colour palettes are appreciated.
We have been told the sofas are comfortable and the furniture pieces and light fixtures remind them of home.
That was the feel and look we were going for – so that makes us happy too.
Hopefully this will be your experience as well.
As you tackle your own To Do List with regards to making prearrangements, or beginning to research the topic, may I say that on a professional level, Paul Wareing and I are committed to helping individuals and families educate themselves, get answers to their questions and concerns, and make decisions concerning ultimate Final Arrangements.
The reality is that any provided insight and information moves you towards ideas and decisions that allow you to draft a blueprint of your absolutes, your wish list, and your personal to do list that can be accomplished to your satisfaction. That completed blueprint, or draft of a work in progress, may be used very soon, or it can be kept updated and not put to use for many years to come. Preplanning and getting your concerns and questions addressed - well, it can let you see that your "To Do List" probably is much easier to accomplish than you had once believed!
And yes, the time will arrive when you reach out with an immediate need for our Services. If you have never spoken with us before that time arrives, we can hope that reading this Blog can reassure you that the process with us is nothing to be anxious about. Let us shoulder those worries about process and paperwork. Trust us to respectfully care for your loved one and ease some of the emotional burden attached to that worry. There are documents we require from you - but please realize that there is no test you have to prepare for before you arrive.
In each and every lifetime there are so many moments and memories; life holds pleasure, pain, pursuits, personalities, pets, places, plans, and parting.
Oh yes, our walls have heard the voices of the mourning and the outbursts of grief, absolutely.
But more often, these walls have witnessed the delight and laughter as adventures and antics are recalled; as the tears of joy flow in the retelling of amazing personal accomplishments; as cherished family memories are shared. And isn't that the best part of opening a favourite book?
Wareing Cremation Services has a Front Door that will always welcome you.
Pandemic measures mean you have to call ahead but think of that as calling that friend who needs advance notice to welcome your arrival. Wareing Cremation Services is two people – a husband and a wife – each with their own establishment location because after 40 years you don’t want your husband under foot day and night either.
If your own preconceived notions or fears are still an obstacle to contacting us, may I suggest that you think of our abilities and our establishments as a yet unread Book in your collection. This Wareing Cremation Services may not have a cover you recognize, and the title may be unfamiliar.
Wareing Cremation Services is a place where you can gain new insight, expand your knowledge, create in your mind familiarity with the chapters' characters and setting, walk through those important scenarios in your mind, even anticipate what the next chapter holds. We would encourage you to "hold fast" to the details that are most important to what you want for your storybook ending!
Simple as that…there is nothing scary about our people, place or purpose.
When your Family has experienced an unexpected loss know that we are here for your Family and your loved One, and know that we are trusted to make the necessary straightforward, not more complicated.